"Look Up"

There was a very tumultous time in my life a few years ago when I wasn't sure what was the right thing to do and what was not. I had been married to a man who had started beating me on a regular basis. If he had a bad day at work, I got a beating. If someone made him angry at church, I got a beating. Even if he was having a good day, I would get a beating just as a reminder that I was still under his control.

I lived this way for a long time. Until my son was three months old, to be exact. My 'husband' had come home from a night of partying with his friends and started slapping me around. (He was always more violent when he was liquored up.) For a long time he hit me and burned me with cigarette butts and poured beer over my head. I just kept wondering to myself why God would let someone get away with those kinds of things. I asked that question many times and heard no reply.

Shortly after his attacking me, my husband passed out in the floor of our bedroom. I peeped around the corner to see him sprawled out in the floor and I was disgusted that a human being could sink so low as to lay their hands on another person.

Once again, I asked God how he could just let someone treat me this way.

Then, very quietly, I heard the answer that changed my whole life. In the back of my mind I heard a voice say calmly "I have given you the power to walk away. You choose to stay."

Then, I felt like a real moron. All this time, it had never occurred to me that I could just leave. So, I did. I packed mine and my son's things and we sped away while Ben slept.

I started feeling guilty about just running away. As soon as I began feeling guilty my car had a flat tire. There was just a really loud POP and then the sound of my rims scraping the road. It just so happened that I had to pull into a church parking lot to avoid being hit by another vehicle.

I was on the verge of tears thinking that this was God's way of telling me to give Ben another chance. I was tired of the pain and tears that I had already been put through so the idea of God wanting me to keep on living that way was very depressing to me.

Then, again very quietly, I heard a little voice say "Look up." So, I looked up. There was a sign right above me that read,'God will see you safely down any road you may have to walk.' I was supposed to keep on going.

God wanted to reassure me that this was what I needed to do. It was his way of telling me that although things would be better, they were still going to be tough. But, after I saw that sign and a feeling of relief washed over me, I picked up my son's carseat, his diaper bag and I set out walking to my nearest relative's house ten miles away.

I never looked back and I made the ten-mile trip in just under two hours. I never got tired, and I never increased my speed. I knew I was not alone.

I am currently working a great job and my life is on track. My ex-husband is currently serving a life sentence in prison.

Brandi Henry
Forrest City, AR